Most professionals, executives and entrepreneurs alike, recognize the value of having a mentor. On the other hand, securing a mentor, a good one, is usually far more challenging.
Traditional mentoring in the workplace usually derives from one of three methods: (1) a mentor is assigned to you; (2) you secure one on your own; or (3) a mentoring relationship naturally develops with someone you know and trust.
I can tell you from personal experience that the best mentoring relationships happen organically; but in this day and age, there are reasons you may need to be more assertive.
For one, budgets are tight. Managers and supervisors are under tremendous pressure to deliver more results with fewer resources. While most leaders would like to mentor, marketplace realities make it difficult to make mentoring a top priority. You, however, need a mentor who makes you a priority–someone who is focused on your development and committed to helping you grow.
The good news is that there are a ton of resources available to you. While I would never undermine the importance of cultivating mentoring relationships in the workplace, it’s time professionals realize that all of your development cannot happen during your 9-to-5, during happy hour, or on the golf course. Your most thorough development will occur after hours, and probably from multiple sources, wholly outside your workplace.
Have you ever noticed that most individuals in supervisory, management, or leadership positions leave the office for training? They leave the office for conferences, networking events, seminars, and meetings. They also tend to hire an outside coach to give greater perspective. Then after receiving developmental and educational deposits, they return to the office to either share or execute what they have learned. Leadership is developed; not delivered.
This kind of development takes work. It takes time. And it takes commitment. You may not like what I am about to say, but I’ll say it anyway: Most of us want development to be easy. We want someone to take us under his or her wing, pour out all of the wisdom they have worked an entire lifetime to develop, and then promptly fast track us to success.
In my view, it is a bad expectation–one rooted in laziness, and one that is a bit insulting, too. Think about it. How would you feel if you had to sweat and struggle to build a home from scratch and with your bare hands, and then someone else wants come in and live in your
home without ever paying you rent? Believe it or not, that’s how we treat most mentoring relationships. We are looking to “live†in someone else’s mind or world without properly respecting the price paid by that person to become a brilliant success.Here is my point: Mentoring is important. No debate there. How we approach mentoring as a professional has been rather, well…ignorant. (I said you might not like what I have to say about this!)
Mentoring used in the traditional sense is misleading. When I think of mentoring, I think of sharing time, wisdom, and heart with someone I know and care about. I think “mentoring†when I think about working with kids, or interacting with colleagues that I know–those with whom I have natural, pre-existing relationship and therefore a vested interest. But (and this is a really big “but”), in the marketplace, when I see someone who has wisdom that I respect and admire, I think about that person as an expert, virtual mentor, or consultant.”
It is time for a marketplace mind shift as it relates to mentoring. In the dictionary, a mentor is defined as, “an experienced or trusted adviser,†and as “one who trains.†Does that fit your supervisor’s job
description? Probably not. In the thesaurus, mentor is synonymous with the words adviser, guide, guru, counselor, consultant, trainer, teacher, tutor, and instructor. Again, does that fit the job description of your boss?Development is your responsibility. If you went to a consultant, you would naturally expect to invest in their experience and expertise. We strategically, however, use the word “mentor†(instead of consultant) because it tugs upon, and slyly manipulates, benevolent heartstrings.
Now, if you are accustomed to asking for “hook-ups†and the “let-me-pick-your-brain†strategy, you (again) are not going to like what I am about to say. Professionals must start treating development professionally. Quality professional development is an investment.
Naturally, you do get what you pay for. So if you want dedicated, personalized attention, hire a strategist or invest in attending a development event. Regardless of where you are at in your career or your business, my hope is that you will begin to think differently about your approach to professional development.
I’m not ready to give-up on the word mentor. A mentor just means that someone cares about your development, which is critical. We all need a coach, an adviser, and a professional mentor, but we also need to upgrade our approach to upgrade our outcomes.
I consider myself a virtual mentor to thousands of people internationally. Mentoring is a big topic, so in my column next week I plan to share some specific tips that you can use in strategically securing the right virtual mentor–one that is focused on your development and your success.
In the interim, let me know your thoughts below. What do you think of modern day mentoring? Don’t hold back. I love a lively debate!
Marshawn Evans a weekly career columnist for BlackEnterprise.com. She is Founder of ME Unlimited®, a corporate life-enrichment consulting firm focusing on reinvention, diversity, innovative leadership and peak performance strategies. Evans is an entertainment lawyer, entrepreneur and reinvention strategiest. The author of SKIRTS in the Boardroom: A Woman’s Survival Guide to Success in Business & Life (Wiley 2008), is also founder of The SKIRTS Networkâ„¢ and The Work Your SKIRTS Awards.â„¢ Follow her on Twitter at @marshawnevans and on Facebook at ME Unlimited by Marshawn Evans.