The Feedback You Need

As chief diversity officer for the global French communications behemoth Publicis Groupe, Sandra Sims-Williams, based in Boston, is responsible for developing and maintaining inclusion initiatives, tools, and measurements. She also understands that the effectiveness of these tools depends on how well professionals in an organization relate to and understand each other. “Relationships are the cornerstone of how you propel yourself through,” she says.

But with more than 20 years in an industry structured around relationships, Sims-Williams learned an important lesson several years ago when she was passed over for a promotion she was sure she deserved. “I got blindsided,” she says. “I’ve always had good relationships in the organization, but when I was overlooked for the promotion I realized that senior leadership either misread me or were not comfortable with me.”

Sims-Williams learned that successful business relationships require open, honest, consistent communication, and that sometimes how you are viewed in an organization may be the topic of an uncomfortable but necessary discussion–particularly in diverse environments where perceived stereotypes can easily hamper discussion. Building strong relationships in the workplace is at the heart of her work as CDO and with VivaWoman, Publicis Groupe’s global initiative that supports women in their professional and personal growth. Here Sims-Williams shares her insights.

Not getting the promotion you felt you deserved provided an important lesson in your professional development. What did you learn?
It was a major aha moment because I had put in a lot of time and thought people knew me well enough, but it wasn’t the right people. I didn’t realize the importance of having relationships above [where I was] and above the promotion. I watched the woman [who got the job] work it– she showed them that she was a strong candidate. I learned that you must build relationships, because senior level executives must know who you are. It’s about knowing people, trusting people, and letting them know that you’ve got their back. My human resources background has taught me this: When it comes time for reviews and career planning, when people know you, they’re going to speak for you when you’re not in the room.

Your story is similar to that of many others. For professionals who feel stuck, what are they doing wrong?
Through VivaWoman, as we are training and developing women, particularly women of color, for leadership, we hear the story, “I’m doing my job and I’m doing it well. I don’t understand why they don’t

get me, or why they don’t think I’m ready for the next level.” Because I’ve been in the room with management, I now know what that conversation sounds like: “So-and-so is doing a good job. We like what she’s doing.” And that’s the end of the conversation. Managers are not talking about her trajectory, her next move. “She’s good, keep her over there.” That’s what they’re saying.

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So part of what we’re trying to do is have our women handle their careers. You do not allow your career to be handled–you handle it. That means you must have some chutzpah about going into that room and saying to your boss every quarter, “This is where I am. These are the projects I’ve taken on. This is how I’m looking at new stretch opportunities. What do you think is the opportunity for me to get those?” If we don’t put it on the table, no one’s going to come and give it to us.

You believe that part of the challenge to building these strategic relationships, particularly for women of color, relates to our cultural upbringing.
Our parents said to keep our heads down, do our jobs, and keep our mouths shut, but keeping our mouths shut has not worked well for us. Part of it is being polite and part of it is being respectful, but part of it has really done us a disservice.

You chose a white male executive coach. Why? And what were his observations?
I wanted to hear from him what he saw. I needed to know what other white males were looking at. He said, “You come across pretty strong and that can be really, really frightening for a white male. It’s like you’re saying, ‘I’m telling you, and don’t you come back at me.’ If a manager doesn’t have a strong demeanor, he would not debate you. That’s not what you want. You want people to say, ‘You know, Sandra, I’m not quite there with you and here’s why.’ Then you can have a dialogue. They don’t want to feel that you’re going to come across that table and wipe them up.”

So having open and honest dialogue helps people get clarity about how to communicate and how that communication is received?
If no one has the guts to tell you, you’ll never have the opportunity to change. I had to be coached at the senior level. How great

would it have been if someone had pulled my coat when I was at mid-level and said, “Can you chill? Can you take it down a notch?” And I know that [black women] come across that way because we think they’re not hearing us, we feel invisible.

What can women do to get clarity about their reputation in an organization?
Feedback is important at all levels, all the time–you can’t just think you’re good. When I was passed over, I took a few people to lunch one-on-one. They were glad to go, and they were up-front. The point is, who knows you and what do they know about you? A lot of us don’t like to talk about our personal stuff at work, but we can’t be that way. You must bring your genuine self to work–we have to open up more. If you don’t know what to say or you don’t feel totally confident expressing ideas, be curious so that people understand that you’re trying to figure out how to grow, that you have a deep respect for how this person arrived. It doesn’t mean you have to drink all of their tea, but you respect people for where they are.