YouAlreadyKnow.com that Tamar Braxton, the youngest of The Braxtons musical clan, speaks her mind unapologetically. Ever since Toni Braxton invited America to bear witness to her intimate family life with the hit WE tv show Braxton Family Values, Tamar–reality TV’s latest breakout drama queen–has become a guilty pleasure for avid viewers, and has endeared everyone with the witty delivery of her infamously hilarious dot-com catch phrases. From her candidness about plastic surgery to her annoyance with some of the actions of her sisters, Tamar holds back little.
Blackenterprise.com caught up with the feisty little sister who explained why her marriage is nothing but the real thing, why those who thinks she’s jealous of Toni have it all wrong, and her best advice on how to KeeptheIRSoffYourBack.com.
Starring on a reality show heightens anyone’s exposure. Are you ready to be in the music spotlight?
(Laughs) That’s not even the question… I am 100% ready! What the show has done, unfortunately, is made everyone believe that Tamar on TV is all that I am. They think there’s no difference and that there aren’t other sides to me.
So can we expect you to fly solo in the reality TV world?
I can’t predict the future, but right now I’m enjoying the time that me and my sisters are spending relearning each other as adults. I had to learn I can’t be popping off at no grown women (laughs). Although we grew up together, the reality is that each of us is into different things–some of us have families, careers–and we have to respect everyone’s decisions, even if you know it might not be the right move for them, you simply have to respect it.
You’ve been candid about feeling like you’re living in Toni ‘s shadow and some perceive that as jealousy. What do you say to those critics?
This whole jealousy thing is ridiculous! Toni works really, really hard. I’m proud of her, not jealous of her. I don’t even want to be the same kind of artist. I care about my sisters and I’m so passionate about everything–especially them–so when people see me going off, it’s just my emotions. I want to see them win and be happy. Sometimes I feel like I want to learn from them rather than them learning things from me all the time. I know a lot of things I say are things my sisters don’t want to hear from their youngest sibling, but I say them.
What adversities have you faced in your own musical pursuits and how have you combated them?
My biggest challenge [in the music biz] has been that everybody expects me to sound like Toni Braxton. I’m like, “she’s not here, and if you want Toni, then you’ll have to call her.” [That expectation] was a lot to get over and I had to pound it into folks’ heads that that’s not who I am. I wasn’t changing [for anyone]. I don’t want to sing R&B. I love rap, house–music of today that’s really poppin’!
Public perception is that you are in a loveless marriage and that you are only with your producer husband, Vince, for personal gain. What do you say to those naysayers?
Absolutely ridiculous! I find it highly offensive because me and my husband dated each other for seven years, but we’ve only been married for [a little more than] two years. I mean, who’s gonna be with someone just ’cause they got some money and be miserable? I ain’t doing that! If I didn’t love my husband for who he is, then why do I want to work and have my own career? That doesn’t even make any sense. Me and Vince are regular. Some days we cool, some days we want to pull each other’s hair out, but that’s real life because [two people] are not going to agree on everything. It also depends on what your definition of love is, it’s different things for different people. Some people think hugging and kissing someone in public all the time is love, but when Vince told me [thatsthetruth.com], it was out of love because he didn’t want me looking crazy, throwing temper tantrums without understanding that there’s an order to things in this business.
Vince is a highly paid and sought after music producer and works with people megastars like Lady Gaga. What are some dos and don’ts of the music business that you’ve learned from him and from working with your sister Toni throughout the years?
The biggest lesson is to be your own business woman. Look over your own paperwork. Tell your lawyer, “I’m going to need to see those documents and need you to explain this to me line-by-line, paragraph-by-paragraph.†The other thing that I’ve learned from Lady Gaga is that just because you’re a woman doesn’t mean you have to sell yourself short. Don’t date people you work with [out of convenience]. I’ll admit I used to do that back in the day because I didn’t meet anyone [outside of the industry]. Now I met my husband while we were both in the industry, but I met him through my sister. It wasn’t like we were working together and started dating. As far as advice about working with family, the only dos are to take time apart and take time to separate things. What is for me is for me, what’s for Trina is for Trina and we each have to respect that.
Trina caught a tongue-lashing from you for charging Toni as her background singer, something you’ve never done. Is it ever okay to charge your family for professional services, especially if that’s your only source of income?
First of all, Trina’s husband has money, too, so she’s okay. Toni has been there for every single person in our family. Knowing what she’s going through, Trina needs to give the girl a break! So I was sticking up for Toni because I love her so much and see what she goes through. Toni loves her family so much that she’d take from herself even in dire straits to provide for us. I can’t even begin to tell you all that Toni has done for us. She has helped our family tremendously in so many ways. So yeah, Trina shouldn’t charge her every time we have a show and definitely not as much as she does.
The news about Toni’s lupus deeply affected you. How have you educated yourself about her illness and helped your sister?
I looked it up on the Internet. I make doctor’s appointment with her doctor and ask whether me and all of my siblings should get tested. Autoimmune diseases run in my family, so I had to make myself aware. Toni has lupus, my brother has sarcoidosis, and my nephew has juvenile rheumatoid arthritis. I just feel bad the times I wasn’t so nice and couldn’t understand why Toni wanted to take a nap instead of hanging out and going to dinner. I realize now that she really hadn’t been able to do that because of [her health]. I told my husband that I wish I felt bad instead of her, because at one point she had more bad days than good days and it’s devastating to me to know how much pain [she suffered].
What about plastic surgery? You’re an advocate for people having it if they want to. Is there any surgery you haven’t or wouldn’t have done?
I believe in plastic surgery or anything you have to do to make yourself feel good. I’m all about self-esteem. I’ve had my nose done. I was born without cartilage in my nose and when I was 16 I had my first operation–an implant put in my nose. My father had the same surgery. The reason I had it done was because it was hard for me to breathe and I snored terribly. Itwasnotcute.org (laughs). Eventually the implant gave me headaches, so I had to have the cartilage from my ear put in my nose. I have to have it done for a second time, remove the cartilage and remove the implant, but it’s so painful that I’ve been putting it off. But I have to have it done.
During a shopping spree with your hubby you scoped $15,000 sunglasses, and on another occasion Toni requested gift cards from stores like TJ Maxx and Target for her birthday but you refused. Is it a crime to be thrifty while wealthy?
First of all, I would never spend that much on sunglasses! What’s really funny to me is people took [the Toni situation] out of context. I was not going to get Toni TJ Maxx, Walgreen or Target gift cards because that’s not what I wanted her to have for her birthday. When it’s my birthday she goes all out and makes sure I have a good time, and I just wanted to do the same for her. My idea of going all out isn’t Walgreens or Target, but there’s nothing wrong with those stores. I love them. In fact, I was just at Target yesterday!
What’s some of the best money advice you’ve ever received and does you apply it to your everyday life?
Pay your taxes No1.com (laughs). It’s the truth. I’ve never wanted that issue. I don’t understand when people say, “I owe $100,000 in taxes.” Huh, how do you do that? “Or I owe $8 million in back taxes.” What? How that work?! (laughs). Pay your taxes and keep the IRS off your behind.
Before you go, what are your top Dotcoms on money management/financial fitness?
Saveyourmoneydot.com (laughs). Payyourtaxes.org and on time because you will get charged.org for real! Don’t maxyourcardout.com because you never know when you’re gonna need it. And getyourcreditright.com. Black families don’t teach their kids that enough. If you get your credit right, you’ll have a great life!
Check out more on the Braxtons in highlights on Love & Money from Braxton Family Values.