Should You Check into the Divorce Hotel?

Is life with your spouse unbearable? Do you wish you could quickly put yourself out of your misery? Well, there’s a new service called the hotel divorce, and it promises a quickie divorce in just one weekend. Here’s  how it’s supposed to work: A married couple checks into a hotel on a Friday. With the help of mediators, tax experts, and attorneys, the couple checks out of the hotel divorced on Sunday.  Right now it’s only available in the Netherlands, but the creator of this concept, Jim Halfens, wants to bring a divorce hotel to a city near you. Is this a viable option?

BLACK ENTERPRISE sat down with divorce attorney Adelola Sheralynn Dow for more information. Here’s what you should know about the divorce hotel:

Not so fast—you won’t be officially divorced. Before you move on with your life, take note: Your divorce won’t be official until you take a few more steps. “One of my clients asked how he could get divorced quickly like Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise. I had to explain that they most likely did pre-divorce filing settlement negotiation. And that’s essentially what this divorce hotel is. What

many people don’t know is that after the hotel stay, couples don’t actually leave divorced; they leave with a settlement agreement. Once the couple leaves, they have either a memo of understanding or a separation agreement that provides a road map for how their judgment of divorce will look, but it doesn’t divorce them. So you can leave the hotel legally separated, but you’re not going to leave divorced.”

Dow notes that there are several documents that must be filed with the court and reviewed by the court clerks before your judgment of divorce is signed by a judge. “Most likely, at least here in the U.S., you wouldn’t be able to be divorced in three days,” says Dow.  So if you had your heart set on getting divorced Sunday and then going on a dinner date Monday evening, you’ll have to put your plans on hold.  “Unless they have a judge in the hotel room with them–which I doubt–they’re not going to leave with a divorce judgment,” Dow says.

One spouse could unknowingly get a raw deal. “You leave with a separation agreement, which is perfect, because you don’t have to argue

these things out in court. If you can get people to sit down in an environment like that, it would be beneficial, but only if everyone had a full idea of what they were doing financially. The problem I have with this concept is that if you have one spouse who takes care of all the finances, the other spouse might have no idea about things like what type of insurance they have, what properties they own, and might be in the dark about other assets,” says Dow.  Consequently, this situation would leave that spouse in an unprotected position. If there’s a settlement agreement, and he or she hasn’t had a chance to fully engage in the discovery process (this involves laying out the couple’s finances and property holdings), Dow says this could result in the spouse not getting what he or she is entitled to.

Continue reading more about the hotel divorces on the next page, and see why it may be cheaper to stay in your marriage.

It’s not necessarily cheaper. The divorce hotel route could cost anywhere from $3,500 to about $10,000 depending on the complexity of the case. “If

you have a couple that has agreed on the terms of their divorce on their own–and couples have done that–you could do an uncontested divorce, say in New York or New Jersey, for anywhere between $1,000 to $2,500, depending on whether you have children or not, and depending on whether you contracted an attorney to do a separation agreement for you, which would cost more money.

If your case is complicated, you can forget it. Dow says a hotel divorce may not be feasible if the case was financially complicated or there were child custody issues to work out. “Typically, people who have children spend more because of child support issues, visitation issues, and other things that need to be set forth in a separation or stipulation settlement. If you’re involved in a contested divorce, your base retainer would be around $5,000. And if you’re arguing over custody, you could spend $100,000 or more. Clients end up spending money not only on their attorney but also a forensic evaluator, who will be appointed by the judge to evaluate the psychology of both parents who are looking for custody;  and  to determine the psychological health

of the kids, to see what type of parenting agreement would be best for them. In New York and New Jersey, a law guardian or attorney for the child would sometimes be appointed, and that person’s retainer would be at least $5,000. The course of the divorce really depends on the issues involved,” says Dow.

The verdict: Dow advises other alternatives. “I would tell couples they might want to consider mediation, and doing that after you get a full disclosure of everyone’s finances and all of the property.  I would be concerned that people in this environment would not have access to all the information they need to make proper decisions. Also, when you’re in an intense setting like this, you don’t know if you’re making decisions that long term might be good for you. Sometimes there are benefits to having more time so you can make better decisions. Many clients rush to get the divorce done and end up signing something that they regret a year later.”

If you and your spouse were ever considering a divorce, would you check into a divorce hotel? Let us know in the comments section below.