Somewhere along the way, we got a memo saying that we had to be fabulous—all the time. How is this possible? How many of us are pretending to be a superwoman when we are a super wreck? It’s time to re-invent.
Re-invention is the process of being honest about what’s compromising your spirit and preventing you from being the best (job, business, marriage, family and friends). The goal of re-invention is to become your true, authentic self–so you can live your purpose and make the necessary changes to W-I-N.
When you least expect to unravel, the universe plays a trick on you and forces you to take off the mask. That’s what happened to Terrie M. Williams, 55, a public relations guru, author, and sufferer of depression. She had dealt privately with depression for most of her life, and then one day, speaking on a panel about HIV and AIDS, she decided to go off script and talk about her battle. It was courageous and the beginning of her healing and re-invention.
“My purpose began to make sense once I publicly admitted that I had a problem,†says Williams, who launched The Terrie Williams Agency with superstar clients Eddie Murphy and late jazz legend Miles Davis, and now represents Oscar Award-winning actress Mo’Nique. “When your spirit is compromised, your body and mind start to act out–illness, depression, shopping, and obesity. It’s okay to take off the mask and stop acting like you have it together,†declares Williams.
“Most people don’t know what it is to have their true authentic self appear — their brand. It’s not easy to admit our vulnerability, but once we allow ourselves to be truly honest we can fulfill our destiny and be our best,†she told me recently.
Though she is an iconic figure in the public relations industry, Williams had unwittingly compromised her brand because she was not functioning at the highest
level with her business. She was masking her illness and not dealing with the day-to-day responsibilities of running her business. As a result she lost opportunities. Once she had the courage to tell the truth, she began to rediscover herself.“It made sense to me why I started out as a clinical social worker, then publicist, mentor, and now mental illness advocate and survivor. I no longer had to pretend that all is well. Because of the power of public relations, I found my true calling to speak and promote mental illness and become a voice for the voiceless. Everything came full circle for me and I empowered myself to live for Terrie.â€Â Through her Stay Strong Foundation, she has launched the national mental health advocacy campaign Healing Starts With Us in association with the Ad Council.
When you begin the re-invention process and do what is ultimately destined for you, life truly begins. To help others like her
she wrote the best-selling book Black Pain: It Just Looks Like We’re Not Hurting (Scribner, 2008), where she reveals her personal struggles with depression and the impact the stigma of this and other mental illnesses have particularly on the African American community. (See related article.)Re-invention won’t happen overnight. However, once you get the courage to go off script, you will start to live your fuller purpose. To help you get started, Terrie Williams shared some of her re-invention strategies:
1. Be your authentic self. We have become so accustomed to lying and numbing the pain that we forget to take care of our needs. Sit down and listen. Be honest where you are. Remember, it’s okay to take off the mask.
2. Purge. Find a healthy way to let the pain out. See a therapist who won’t judge you and who will allow you to be honest in a safe environment.
3. Get out of your comfort zone. Wake up with butterflies in your stomach — do something different each day and take your game to the next level. Take the challenge.
4. Be honest. When people ask you, “How are you doing?†give them the real answer.
4a. Tell young people the truth. If your kids ask if you’re sad and you say no, they know if you’re lying. Teach them how to cope and how to take off the mask.
5. Let it all out. Write in a journal, pray, read, and exercise. Williams recommends reading the daily devotional book God Calling, by A. J. Russell (Barbour Books, 1989).
6. Establish boundaries. Just say no. Stop compromising yourself.
Caviar & Chitlins Moment: Sit still and listen to your heart. The next steps will speak to you. We are all a work in progress.
Karen Taylor Bass, The PR Expert, provides entrepreneurs, corporations, and mompreneurs with essential branding, marketing, and public relations coaching; www.karentaylorbass.com and www.taylormademediapr.com.