Paul Carrick Brunson: King of ‘Lovetown USA’

Paul Carrick Brunson transitioned from investment banker and non-profit leader to a highly sought after matchmaker in roughly three years. He now has clients on his waiting list as well as a book deal with Penguin and a TV deal with the Own Network. His book, It’s Complicated (But it Doesn’t Have to Be): A Modern Guide to Finding and Keeping Love debuts on October 11. His OWN show, LoveTown, USA premieres on August 19 in the home that Oprah built.  From Own “On Lovetown, USA, two expert matchmakers take over Kingsland, Georgia for 30 days to help mend relationships of embattled friends and lovers-young and old–and find true love for singles. This social experiment, hwich involves everyone from government  officials to grade school students will examine how love, grace, kindness an forgiveness can affect an entire community.”

BlackEnterprise.com caught up with Paul to find out how his life and business has been been transform by tv and what it was like working with Oprah.

BlackEnterprise.com: From finance to matchmaking—how did you make the leap? And how did you go from pro bono sessions to a waiting list of paid clients?

Paul Carrick Brunson: Just two and half years ago I was doing pro bono matchmaking work and now I don’t have to advertise – I have a waiting list.  I’ve gone with my gut with this business a lot. We have a general plan around our goals but I don’t have a specific business plan for this. I realized the issue that I had with my previous businesses that failed was I was so stuck in staying in the parameters – so now I operate off of more of a gut instinct. I listen a lot. I listen to Twitter, etc. and I am able to adapt to what I’m hearing from my audience.

I came off a year of studying matchmaking and coaching. I literally asked friends and said hey if you know of anyone who is interested in matchmaking or coaching and I had maybe 5 referrals. Two of them didn’t sound authentic so I ended up taking on 3 pro bono clients. But I was very transparent. I told them they were my very first clients. They were open. After I had done about 3 sessions with each of them they said “this is wonderful, this is really good.” That gave me a confidence boost that I really needed. When I started, I didn’t know when I would start charging. Subconsciously [their feedback] told me ” I can charge for this.” By that time I had put [an introductory] video on YouTube and I had a web site, and my Modern Day Matchmaker YouTube series.

My videos were syndicated so we would get 2-3 inquiries/ day. One day I said, “The next inquiry that comes in, I’m gonna charge.”

I remember when the inquiry came in. I was nervous. We had some work being done on our house, so I went downstairs to the basement to take the call. I leaned against the washing machine to talk to the guy.  When he asked what my price was, I was thinking “$2000″  but I said verbally ” that will be $1000″. The man on the line said “That’s it?!” The next person that came in I began increasing my rates. I didn’t price myself relative to what others were charging, I priced it relative to my supply and the level of service I was giving.

With each new person I would feel them out. I found out that it took about 6 months of work before we got bankable results so therefore we had to go back and reconfigure the package. At the six month point we were getting breakthrough results so the minimum commitment was 6 months.

Regarding pricing – it ended up being about what we were delivering and what the supply and demand was. We were able to go from free in late 2009 to charging in spring 2010,  to charging a premium less than a year later based on our confidence and demand relative to our supply.

How do you feel when people compare you to Will Smith’s cheeky character from the movie “Hitch”?

Initially I stayed away from it because I wanted to stay out of that box because people assume I’m just for black people. But now I embrace it because I realize it’s a term of endearment. And it allows people to quickly identify who I am.

How have you balanced family and business? What have you learned and what advice would you give?

It’s been incredibly challenging because [my wife and I] have had the biggest events in our professional career, and we’ve made more money in the last year than we’ve ever made in one year in our lives. That changes the dynamic in a relationship – it’s a substantial difference. Then you have the fact that we’ve had the largest personal change in our lives with our son – who is almost 2. We work from home and he’s with us.

How we balance it is knowing what our

values are individually and as a couple. We share the same values. It’s very important that your significant other shares your top values because your values act as this rule book for life and it helps to guide you.  We play by the same rules so it definitely helps us to prioritize. What’s paramount for us is family. My book is coming out October 11 and yesterday and today were the craziest days – I have tons of edits that have to go back to the publisher, I’m doing voiceovers for LoveTown. My wife walks in and says  “today is Kingston’s orientation today [for preschool]”. I completely forgot. But all this other work gets put on hold and everybody has to wait because going to this [orientation for Kingston] is what is most important.

So it makes decisions easier when you know what values are.

Also, communication is the achilles heel of a romantic or business relationship. And what I’ve noticed during couples counseling, large issues stem from communication.
[My wife and I] work in the same office. When I’m in town, we eat lunch and dinner together as a family. We’ve got this weird schedule – we talk throughout the day.

Another thing, we really understand what is really and what’s smoke and mirrors. What’s real and what’s fun. What I’ve noticed when we started getting entertainment opportunities we took it real serious but you can’t do that because you can’t control it. With entertainment you can’t because the customer is the audience and the whims of the audience changes.

Now when we look at entertainment we see that as fun, we’re having a good time with it. The business side of it – we’re serious about that. Our coaching, our matchmaking, our social application. So to sum up, what helps keep it in balance is our perspective on the business, our communication and our shared values.

What has the experience of getting on a TV show like this taught you?

I would say overwhelmingly that this has taught me that you only get one shot. My very first national TV appearance was on Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers. It was a one shot deal but I didn’t understand it at the time. They wanted to do a show on “black love” and I was working with the producers for 2 months on ideas. The bottom line is I believe my story is unique. I sold them on the idea of focusing it around what I do and me.

On the day I appeared for LifeChangers, before I walked on stage I was straight nervous. What I didn’t know was the  President of Telepictures -largest syndicator of daytime talk shows like Ellen, Dr. Drew, Anderson Cooper, Tyra – was there and watching. After the appearance, [the producers] basically said that it was a test, and because I did well I could possibly carry my own talk show, maybe in a couple of years.

Same with my upcoming book: one shot. If it does well, there will be other opportunities.

At the very end of 2009 I came out as a Matchmaker and dropped a YouTube video. My second video was right in the middle of the Black Love storm. I did a response to the Helena Andrews article in the Washington Post – Single Black and Lonely, and that went viral. Each week, I was getting 1-2 production companies that were inviting me to have conversations – that’s when Telepictures came up.

I hadn’t thought about the entertainment aspect in terms of my business. You need a business plan but a dynamic plan that can let you shift and dynamic. Because my plan was dynamic I could shift.

I began to realize that a lot of producers who would act like they were working with someone but they really weren’t. They had maybe worked on a set of a show ten years ago but weren’t currently working with a big name. So there was a lot of misrepresentation.  When I would get a message sometimes I wouldn’t even take it at full value
In 2010, I got a Facebook message from a “producer” that said they worked for Oprah. They said “Have you ever thought about doing tv? We would be interested in talking to you.” I honestly didn’t pay it much attention because I was doing a lot, I was doing the matchmaking, speed dating, etc and I didn’t get right back to them. By the time the Anderson stuff had hit and Dr. Drew had hit, summer of 2011 I got another serious message from them. I was going to be in LA for a taping of Lifechangers and they said to come by the office.

So I went to the office, and I will never forget it. It was surreal. It’s important to realize that first shot, that first introduction is lasting. I didn’t realize it at the time, they sat me in this long conference room – with 11-12 people from the OWN team and they asked me to tell them my story. I started telling them my story and they immediately  fired back and said “We think we’ve got a television show for you, are you interested?” And when they told me about this concept I completely fell in love.

What has it been like working with and learning from Oprah?

Oprah is incredible. In New york, I’ve had tequila shots with Oprah, I’ve interacted with her on several occassions. She completely disarms you. She’s everything and more than you think.

But what’s most amazing about her is her warmth. I have worked for a billionaire, and I’ve been around high status people. You can feel it from their aloofness, their entourage, and with Oprah you will sit with her and talk to her, the staff and bodyguards fall back. She looks you in the eye, she touches your arm, she talks to you about current topics. She has this ability to connect that I’ve never seen with anyone. It’s powerful.

What was it like to meet Oprah?

I was hired by OWN and while I was preparing for the show I hadn’t met Oprah yet. But it made sense – I’d met producers and other key people.  My co-host and I found out that we were going to meet Oprah during a live event they were hosting. The producer told me “Oprah’s going to pull you up on stage and that’s how you are going to meet her.”  – while taping for 2 shows and in front a live audience!

When Oprah travels she has this lighting kit because she’s Oprah. One of the producers/camera men – a black guy – whispered in my ear before Oprah hit the stage. He said “Make sure that you stand in the light.”  I asked him what that meant. He said “Just go up on stage and you’re gonna feel it…” He was telling me from a technical standpoint where to stand so that I can get the best light and appear my best on screen as a black person.

So when I got up on stage I see Oprah and I’m sweating, I’m nervous. We hugged, she put her hand on my back. I looked at the crowd, they’re cheering. And then I kind of felt the light on my face, it was warm.  I felt this calmness take over.  I stood there, and I was thinking “Oh my God, this is what life is about. We have to find the light and then let go. Don’t worry about everything else, just find and stand in your light.”