In honor of Mother’s Day, BlackEnterprise.com talked with professional women from across the country— from a single working mother to a woman who’s delaying motherhood to focus on her career — to talk family planning choices. Each gives candid insight into their decisions, how their lives were changed and how they’re pursuing their career goals and advancement.
TRIUMPHANT TEEN MOTHER TURNED WIFE & ENTREPRENEUR
Summer Alexander, 33, CEO and Market Research Consultant, Summer Alexander Research
LIFE-CHANGING GROWING PAINS: When I found out I was pregnant at 17, I was completely shocked, terrified and extremely disappointed with myself. I thought I had ruined my life.
MOTHERHOOD CHALLENGES: My first daughter was born prematurely (1lb, 12 oz) and was hospitalized for the first six months of her life in a hospital that was located two hours from my home. This meant I had to drop out of school my senior year. While my peers were planning for prom and graduation, I was praying next to an incubator that was housing my tiny daughter. Once she was released from the hospital she required 24-hour monitoring which meant initially that I was unable to return to school. Eventually I obtained my GED and graduated from college, but those first couple of years were filled with struggle. I later had another daughter, got married and had a son with my current husband.
PROFESSIONAL TURNING POINT: I was working a full-time job at a telecommunications company. I lost two hours out of every day just to travel to and from work, and my girls were at that tricky age where they were too old for day care and too young to be left unattended for several hours. It was around this time that I hit a crossroads: My company was downsizing  and offering buyouts for people to voluntarily leave. I had a choice in the matter and my gut told me to go. During my time off, I returned to school and soon after launched my business as a market research consultant which allows me to work from home — the best of both worlds.
FROM WORKING MOM TO MOMMY-PRENEUR: Being home was a breath of fresh air because I’m passionate about my children. I kept my mind active by being in school, and the energy of my household changed from one of the same day-to-day routine to a much more peaceful environment. My children were and still are happy to have me at home. Also by the time I when back to school and was starting my business, I was married and had  just recently given birth to our son who has never attended daycare.
LONGTERM FAMILY & BUSINESS GOALS: My goal is to grow my company in such a way that I
can support, nurture and encourage other African American women in doing the same. My daughters are 16 and 13 years old, and my son is 5 and will be heading to kindergarten this fall, which will allow me more time during the day to bring my vision to reality. The girls are great because they help out around the house by preparing dinner a couple of nights a week and when I am working they graciously keep their little brother entertained until my husband is home from work. My husband and children are extremely supportive of me and they make me feel like nothing is impossible. As long as I have their support I know achieving my goals is simply a matter of time.ADVICE FOR TODAY’S TEEN MOMS: Your children need you to pursue your dreams. They will be watching your every move and if you are unhappy they will sense it and carry it with them in some form for the rest of their lives. It will be very important to forge ahead with your life’s plans because the desire to do so is never going to go away and if you don’t, you run the risk of pushing your dreams on your children or worse diminishing their dreams because you never pursued yours.
PASSIONATE, SINGLE CAREER WOMAN
Deanna Kimberly Burell, 35, Marketing Executive, Author, Single Girl Summer (Chi-Towne Fiction; 13.99)
DECISION TO WAIT: I’m a traditional woman with a traditional view of family. I grew up in a loving, two-parent household and so did both of my parents. I would say that I made a conscious decision that I did not want to enter into motherhood as a single mother. I have the utmost respect for all single mothers because being the primarily caregiver is a lot of work. Personally, I decided that raising a child in a one-parent household is not the kind of responsibility that I can handle. I want to raise my child like I was raised: with two loving parents in the household. Until I find a man that I want to marry and have a child with, I decided instead to focus on succeeding at my career.
PREGNANCY PEER PRESSURE: The women in my close circle are similar to me. They want to follow the traditional path of marriage first, then children. We encourage each other to remain positive and prayerful. We don’t buy into the gloom and doom scenario that women over 35 will end up lonely, old maids.
Then there is another group of women outside of my circle that feel their biological clock is ticking so they have children outside of marriage. They are single mothers and primary caregivers who are diligently working to strike a balance between work, children, dating, friends, family and everything in between.
FUTURE FAMILY PLANS: Yes, I would love to have children in the future. I have two beautiful godchildren who I love and adore. When I spend time with them, I love watching them grow and learn new things. When I see them I know that having children is something I definitely want in my future. I am a woman of purpose and I believe in naming it to claim it. When I date a man that I deem is a long-term candidate, I’m upfront with my long-term expectations. I prefer to date men who have also grown up in a two-parent household like I did. In my dating experience, I’ve found that I’m more compatible with men who share the same upbringing. And the response I get from them about waiting is positive.
FINDING THE ‘RIGHT TIME’: I turned 35 this year. I recently changed careers. I left my corporate job to be a full-time entrepreneur and author. Things are going very well for me. I’m enjoying my new career path. My book is doing phenomenal and my marketing firm is taking off. So, if I meet the right man, and we got married now, this would be a great time for me to have children. Being an entrepreneur allows me to set my own schedule and to be flexible.
ADVICE AGAINST THE ‘TICKING CLOCK’ PRESSURE: Regardless of what the media says, there are lots of African-American men who want to get married and have a beautiful family, just like there are African-American women looking for the right one. If it’s meant to be, it will be. In the meantime, I’ll keep kissing frogs until I meet my prince, pursuing my dreams, having a great time and working on myself. When the Lord approves, it will happen.
YOUNG, SAVVY SINGLE MOMMY
Jennifer K. Davis, 28, Typist, Founder, P.I.N.K Foundation
EARLY MOTHERHOOD ASPIRATIONS: I always planned on having children. I wanted four. In my dream scenario, they came after I was married and after I finished college.
TIGHT TIME MANAGEMENT: A typical weekday is very hectic for me. I wake up around 6 a.m., nurse my son, put him back to sleep and take a shower. I then wake my children, and while they are getting dressed, I get dressed, make lunches and breakfast. Once they sit down for breakfast, I wipe down and dress
the baby. After breakfast it’s time for hair to be combed and teeth to be brushed and then to the car we go. By 7:40 I am dropping my kids off at my mother’s house who takes the eldest two to school and keeps the baby.Once I’m off at 6 p.m., I handle my foundation phone calls. I try to complete all conversations, texts and e-mails before I walk in the door to pick up my children from my mother’s, so that I can give my babies my full attention. This usually consists of nursing my newborn, disciplining my daughter, and getting tons of love from my son. If my mother has cooked, we stay and have dinner. If not we pack into the car, and I go home and cook while my daughter finishes her homework and my son plays games. During dinner we talk about the day and what has to be done for the rest of the week. Then the older two take baths, brush teeth and go to bed while I nurse my son, feed him (if he didn’t eat during our dinnertime) and cuddle with him. By 9:30 p.m. He and I are sleeping.
A DREAM NEVER DEFERRED: I started my nonprofit because I needed to heal my heart from ending a 9-year friendship with my ex-bestfriend. It was a really hard time for me emotionally and financially, and my kids really suffered because I wasn’t able to give them me. Not only did I lose my best friend, my marriage recently ended, and I was forced to look for work after being a stay-at-home mom for two years.
Through building my foundation, I was able to heal from the disappointment in the failure of my marriage, my friendship ending, having no job and nowhere to live with my kids. Whenever I had business meetings or phone calls, I would conduct them while my kids were at school, but if business was on the weekend, I brought my children along. I’d tell everyone, up front, that I’m a single mother trying to make this happen, so from time to time I might bring my child with me or you might hear a scream for ‘Mommy’ in the background. Most of the people I came in contact with were very supportive, very empathetic and understood and loved my passion.
ADVICE FOR SINGLE WORKING MOMS: You have to stay true to yourself. Getting advice from others on how they did it and what works for them is great but listening to your instict is key and will make you ultimately happy. Be sure to schedule and plan. I have every other Monday off from my 9-to-5, so I plan as many meetings, appointments and volunteer time at my children’s school on these days. Also, it’s important to find your support system. So many times we think our support system is our family, but most of my support comes from friends, business associates and people I’ve met along the way. Other moms who are in your same shoes, or people who share your passion may be a better support system for you.
EXPERIENCED MOTHER & BUDDING ENTREPRENEUR
Jill Williams, 51, Sales Secretary, Entrepreneur
LEGACY OF NURTURING & INDEPENDENCE: From the time I was a child, I knew that I wanted to be a mother. I had great role models such as my mother, Carnice Upshaw, and my grandmother, Vergie Alexander. They had unconditionally love for family, and they were great nurturers.
It was never in my mother’s DNA to be a stay-at- home mom. She was and still is a very strong and independent woman who enjoyed earning her own income. I even believe that my father appreciated her wanted to work with him as a team.
LIFE CHANGES & DIFFICULT CHOICES: The dynamic of our home changed when I separated from my daughter’s father. Although I had a full-time job, it was imperative to look for a supplemental income. When I took on a part-time job, I worked 13-hour days. I think my biggest challenge of balancing my daughter’s needs while pursuing my career was missing out on events that were important to her. She was a cheerleader in high school, and I missed many of her games.You can’t imagine the guilt I felt, but I had to keep a roof over our heads.
POWER OF TECH: Because I have two businesses (Altadena, Calif.-based Jill’s Chocolates and Sparkle Plenty), I spend most weekends planning my next events. I’m constantly networking via e-mails, Twitter, Facebook etc., to generate and solicit new business.
A FAMILY (BUSINESS) AFFAIR: I’ve considered myself blessed because God entrusted me to be a steward over my daughter. She’s a beautiful and smart young college student. My greatest reward is my daughter’s involvement in Jill’s Chocolates. Her concerted efforts will not only take the business to another level, but I’m hoping one day she will carry the torch.
WORDS FROM THE WISE: Make time for yourself (a little she-time) and most importantly, make time for your children. If you are not self employed, talk to your supervisor and request to shift your office from the job to working home a few days a week. (You will win the best mom award from the kiddies). Lastly, shut down the computer, disconnect the iPad, and power off the BlackBerry or iPhone (once in a while) to engage in fun family activities.