Improve Your Relationship … With Your Money

“Financial behavior is a direct correlation to our upraising. Most in our community have been trained with the financial survival mode mentality,” says Cyrus L. Hancock, president and CEO of Hancock Wealth Management. “It is important to enjoy the fruits of our labor to have balance in our life. Budget and plan to pay your bills, save toward your emergency reserve, and at the same time, save a little each paycheck for disposable income or ‘playground money.’”

The Former Compulsive Spender

Whenever Paula Burch experienced any type of emotional distress, she would head right out to shop. It wasn’t just regular shopping. It was high-ticket items such as a car, television, or furniture. She would spend hundreds of unplanned dollars with no consideration of the bills that had to be paid thereafter.

“Then it would take months for me to get back on track,” says Burch. “I love how my mother is so frugal and can stretch a dollar as if it were $100. She is a bargain shopper and can always find the best deals. As a child, I hated going shopping with her because we would be in stores all day. I vowed I would never put my children through that. As a result, if I saw it and I wanted it, I bought it. It got completely out of control.”

According to Kathleen Gurney, Ph.D., CEO of Financial Psychology Corp. and author of Your Money Personality: What It Is and How You Can Profit from It (Financial Psychology Corp.; $29.95), obsessive—compulsive disorder is often played out in money management with obsessive spending. Instead of constructively working out the depression and resolving the root cause of the pain, individuals “act out” with their money as an alternative.

“One of the most important questions for the compulsive spender to ask themselves is, ‘What am I really trying to buy?’ Usually the compulsive spender doesn’t know how to utilize money to bring them real lasting pleasure,” says Sally Palaian, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Spent: Break the Buying Obsession and Discover Your True Worth (Hazelden; $14.95). “I try to help people to ‘hit the target’ to use their money in ways that will bring them longer lasting happiness.”

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