The Former Financial Co-Dependent
In her late 20s, Demetra Morgan began dating a man 10 years her senior who was financially secure. A firefighter by profession, he seemed to look for and date women whom he could rescue. Morgan fit the bill. When she needed help paying her monthly bills, she thought it only natural to go to him. Four years later, he said she was too dependent and he would no longer help. She didn’t understand why. After all, she thought her man was supposed to do that.”
“For most of my childhood, my mother, my sister, and I lived with a man–a different man. Every few years, when something went wrong, we would get called into the house and told to pack our clothes. It meant that we were moving yet again. Sometimes we would move into the man’s house and on rare occasions he would move in with us,†says Morgan. “I guess this might have shaped my thinking that women were supposed to depend on men.â€
When her boyfriend refused to help her, she realized she was in a position she did not want to be in, and vowed never to be dependent on any man other than God. On Jan. 1, 2006, she and her girlfriends, known as the Circle of Trust, sat down to set goals. In the long term, she wanted to be financially healthy. Short term, she wanted to find a job making more money, pay off old debt, and build her credit score. She created an impressive résumé, consulted a financial adviser, and met with a credit repair specialist.
Today, she is wholly independent. After making the decision to find a new job three months prior, she left V & J Holdings Inc. in Wisconsin in April 2006 and began working for the State of Georgia. Within four years she had a $50,000 salary increase. Her biggest step, though, was getting a home that no man can put her out of, which she purchased in 2007 for $170,000. She has built up a nice nest egg with a primary savings, vacation club, Christmas club, certificate of deposit, and money market accounts at her credit union. Morgan is also on the lookout for her first piece of investment property.
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