The Former Money Martyr
For a full decade after Georgette Prater turned 18, the word “no†was not in her vocabulary when it came to family and friends in need. She would loan out $500 or $1,000 to those who asked. Sometimes she got it back. Most times she didn’t. She listed a few family members on her credit cards as authorized users to handle their daily expenses such as groceries and gasoline. Others would splurge on vacations and electronic devices. She was left with the soaring credit card bills.
“For most of my life, I was unable to save and I would continually go into debt for my friends, family, and loved ones. I didn’t know how to say no,†says Prater. “I lived this way because I get joy from seeing others happy. It was always painful to see someone want or need something. I took it upon myself to find a way for others, even when I took it from myself.â€
Prater reached a turning point in 2007. Although she is a finance professional, she sought a counselor during her divorce to assist her with mounting debt. During the session, a family member called to ask for $10,000. As she tried to figure out how to get the money, the counselor stopped her in her tracks. That was the first time she said “no.†It was her aha moment. Today, her primary focus is on her well-being and that of her three children. She is about to buy a new home that costs upward of $200,000 and can almost pay cash for it. Her car loan was paid off in 2008. After liquidating her retirement account to pay off debts and cover liabilities incurred with her ex-husband, she has increased her credit rating to above 700 and has resumed contributing to her 401(k). She has a money market account and her savings has grown to a year’s salary.
“Don’t co-sign for others and allow them to be authorized users on your credit card if you cannot afford to do so. You are responsible for that debt and it can start a downward spiral,†says Doreen Carter, author of The Mis-Education of the Christian…: On Money and Giving (AuthorHouse; $15) and creator of the Who Mooved My Money? software program. “Look at your personal budget when someone requests money. Consider whether you can pay for this if the person does not pay you back. If the answer is no, then say no. We believe in charity, but charity begins at home.â€
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