Originally Published Sept. 18, 2014.
It’s happened to us all. Whether we admit it or not, we’ve all had the experience of getting our feelings hurt at work. A lot of times, our direct supervisor is usually the culprit. Sometimes, it’s our co-workers, but nonetheless, the experience is humiliating. Emotions are a touchy subject, mainly because we all like to act like we don’t have any or they don’t affect us. The truth is, as research shows, a majority of humans walk around with so much emotional baggage that, at any given point, a person could have a breakdown.
As a life coach, I like to connect with
clients on an emotional level because it allows me—AND them—to see how deep emotions go. Moreover, it reveals that emotions are running the show whether we realize it or not. To be successful in business and life, you need to have a sense of emotional health and intelligence. Here, I provide some easy tips for how to process and manage emotions while at work.Acknowledge.
The first step in processing emotions is experiencing an emotional trigger. Acknowledging, believe it or not, is one of the hardest stages in emotional processing. This is mainly because humans rarely like
to admit that someone hurt their feelings. Furthermore, we don’t like to be that vulnerable. A practical example is taking a moment and saying to yourself or even out loud (quietly) that your emotions are triggered.Identify.
Next, identify what exactly triggered the emotions. This takes time. You will need to take a moment to pinpoint exactly the moment you felt a certain way. Don’t overthink this stage. You must know with certainty what caused the shift. Identify the moment and write it down.
Name.
Name the emotion you feel. Being emotionally intelligent and having a proper emotional vocabulary is extremely important. We must be able to call something by name because it allows us to distinguish between emotions, creating a sense of power. Being able to say you feel marginalized is a lot more powerful than saying you feel hurt (too general). The more specific you can be when naming the emotion, the better your processing will be.
Review.
Go over the previous steps and make sure you are certain about what has taken place. This is key because after you review or examine, you have a moment of clarity that affirms how you feel or gives you a different perspective. This stage is vital because individuals too often fly off the handle, which leads to dire consequences. Take the time to review and reflect.
Action.
This is
the stage where you decide what you’re going to do about what has happened and how you feel. Moreover, the action stage is where we decide to respond (always) to the situation. So, if this means you have to confront someone, you’ve taken the time to process and calm yourself down. You’ve also assessed the situation and have the clarity to proceed with your approach.Remember, we have the ability to change not only our world but also the world as a whole. Be great!
Until next time, Pervis
Written by Pervis Taylor, III
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