Fraternizing with Coworkers: Going Beyond the Water Cooler

When working 40-plus hours every week, we probably spend more time with our coworkers than we do with our own family members. Over time, friendships at work can develop and can do either two things: contribute to a more enjoyable workplace (possibly leading to a promotion) or end up in disaster.

Whether you’re running to the door when the clock strikes 5 or you don’t mind mixing business with personal, there is a fine line when fraternizing with coworkers. However, for many, the benefits can outweigh the negatives.

“People with strong relationships at work are usually much happier,” says Kristin Taliaferro, a certified life and career coach. “As humans, we thrive when we feel connected or part of a group, rather than isolated.’ ”

Hobnobbing with others will not only make

the day go by faster but can lead to new friendships, romantic relationships (outside of the office, of course) and mentors. Many jobs are filled within the company, so socializing can give you an edge. “If the hiring managers know and respect you, they are more likely to consider you for a promotion,” Taliaferro says. “People enjoy working with colleagues they get along with, so if they get along with you, you’ll have an edge against other candidates.”

Lynnelle Mays, public relations consultant at Mays Public Relations Strategies L.L.C., says that the payoffs of socializing with coworkers are tremendous. “Not only can you build presence and get to know key players, but you open yourself to more opportunities to solve problems,” she says. “It’s easier to suggest ideas in an informal setting among colleagues than at an office meeting where a manager may have a time-sensitive agenda to cover.”

Jessica Burns, vice president at R.L. Burns Inc., a Florida-based construction firm, suggests that it’s always great to have an ally in the office. “You never know who you will need for a favor. Whether it’s calling for help to meet a deadline, tapping into your colleague’s networks for personal or professional needs, or simply having someone to vent to when you’re having a rough day,” Burns says. “Having those personal relationships with people you spend a third of your time with is important.”

It’s also vital to proceed with caution while building friendly relationships in the office and avoid conflict triggers such as gossip. Don’t go so overboard with fraternizing that it begins to hinder productivity or get too personal. These toxic behaviors can give the impression that you’re untrustworthy or inefficient, and can even serve as ammo for another employee who’s privately pinning for your job.

“Socializing with colleagues can also be precarious unless you continue to treat the relationship as purely professional,” says Hallie Crawford, certified career coach and founder of Create Your Career Path. “You need to really watch what you say and make sure you don’t say something that could affect your job stability or professional image.”

If you’re ever put in the awkward position of being the listening ear of a repetitive gossip or Negative Nelly in the office, Mays suggests taking the high road. “Handle cynics by offering a bright perspective on a dim conversation or change the topic.”

Creating too close a relationship with a coworker can sometimes cloud your judgment and

perspective. “If a colleague you’ve grown close to is doing something unethical or something that could jeopardize the firm, you may be less inclined to do the right thing if you’re close personal friends,” Burns says. “On the other hand, you may harbor some resentment if there’s a separation that could have an ill effect on your position and value with the firm in the future.”

Whatever way you decide to build relationships with your coworkers and colleagues, be sure you diversify your network. “Don’t solely depend on your work friends for your social life. Make sure you are diverse and have friends outside of work,” Taliaferro says. “I’ve seen many clients leave jobs and lose their social life all in one day, and it’s crushing. Find balance with your work life and social life.”