Whether you’re on a journey to find love or fresh out of a relationship, the holidays can be the best of the single season.
Creator and visionary of Fox Soul’s #1 relationship platform, CheMinistry, Chanel Nicole Scott talked to BLACK ENTERPRISE about the challenges Black singles face during the holidays.
“Black singles have the added layers of statistics and commentary that suggest we are challenged in having relationship success in general, much less during the holidays,” Scott says.
“Culture is an undeniable part of holiday traditions and black people like to get together during this season. Holiday dinners are when you’re expected to bring your significant others or perhaps go to meet his family and although this is not a “black single” phenomenon, we do have patterns of cultural dysfunction in our families that tend to hit the fan at holiday gatherings. It can be all the more challenging to navigate these situations without the support of a significant other.”
Thanks to CheMinistry, where chemistry and ministry come together, their latest “A Loveless Holiday” episode not only offered real solutions to the brokenness in relationships but also provided insight into how singles can survive the holidays alone.
According to the relationship guru, here are five tips for surviving the holidays single and alone:
1. Practice gratitude for the good in your life
2. Have a spiritual practice
3. Reach out to friends and family for fellowship and support
4. Don’t allow your relationship status to define you. Acknowledge the other parts of yourself like your personality, gifts, talents, dreams, and goals.
5. Be kind, gentle, and generous to yourself. Give yourself gifts during the holidays.
What inspired you to create a relationship platform?
One of the most googled phrases is “How to…” and CheMinistry was born out of my desire to learn how to do relationships successfully.
I had found myself in a string of failed or stalled relationships and one of my greatest desires is to experience something different. I wanted to create a space where honest conversations from the male and female perspectives on relationships could be explored.
How do you attract, create, and maintain deep connections in a relationship? That’s CHEMISTRY.
How is CheMinistry relevant to today’s landscape of Black relationships?
Social history and media have played a significant role in separating black men and women. CheMinistry is a media platform that can reverse some of the adverse or inaccurate stereotypes while also offering remedies to some of the actual toxic behaviors and patterns.
CheMinistry offers viewers the opportunity to know better so they can do better. It simultaneously puts the spotlight on celebrities who have a relevant and influential voice so that people will actually pay attention. We give the people what they want so that we can deliver what they need.
For singles, how do you recommend they redefine how the holidays’ influence their lives?
Some singles can make the holidays bearable by traveling, pampering themselves, or taking the opportunity to learn how a new culture celebrates the holiday.
Other singles may find it more satisfying to allow themselves to just FEEL whatever emotion that comes up and honestly acknowledge it, but it’s a good practice to let the feelings pass when the holiday passes.
With your journey to finding love and building a platform to bridge the gaps in relationships, how did you make the most of your single holiday seasons?
The show has become like my boyfriend, so I’m almost too busy to notice my singleness these days. Honestly, there’s serendipity in that. When you really focus on your purpose and getting to know and love yourself, genuine joy and contentment result.
I’m also engaged in my spiritual practices, which helps me navigate every area of my life-personally, professionally, and purposefully.
The latest taping of CheMinistry focused on the topic of “A Loveless Holiday.” For those who missed out, what is the hard truth about that topic and what were some of the key takeaways from that discussion?
Issues of selfishness or incompatibility may be highlighted during the holidays, but more than likely have been brewing all along.
It was pointed out that people may have been letting their “representative” show up in the relationship and
when the holiday hits, their true personality or intentions surface; hence, you may find out during the holidays that you are not in a relationship but a “situationship” or you may discover the person is there just to take advantage of the gifts during the season.You’ve talked about purpose partners. How can they help singles survive the holidays?
Purpose partners are two people who come together with sincere intentions and deeper goals than just “hooking up.” Purpose partners see their relationship as a vehicle to fulfill a deeper calling or mission in their lives. Hence, the reason why we refer to our viewers and followers as “Purpose Partners.”
Showing love, kindness, and charity is a way to stay energized during the holidays. Planning gatherings with friends can bring a spirit of celebration in lieu of having a romantic relationship as well.