Change Your Mind About Money and You’ll Change Everything

I was recently standing in a line at a take-out food restaurant in Connecticut when a chatty gentleman behind me began speaking loudly about a new Starbucks coming to the area.

[Related: TGIF Restaurant Sued for Race Discrimination]

“You know ‘we’ are not going to pay $5 for no cup of coffee. We can barely figure out how to pay our bills,” the man said.  Almost as if rehearsed, the other patrons nodded their heads in unison, in full agreement.

I imagine he would have received a similar soapbox in a low-income neighborhood.  What was not similar, however, was that we were in a lakefront community in an upper middle-class neighborhood that was predominantly black.

Different environment.

Different economics.

Same attitudes.

Struggle Mentality

Education, employment, predatory lending, you name it: There are systemic forces that have worked against our ability to create wealth. As a financial journalist, however, it has been easy to see that perhaps a bigger problem is the mind-set some of these factors have helped to create…The image many of us have of ourselves as a group that is destined to struggle, and at the mercy of factors beyond our control.

“Some people just believe that you’re really not down with the community if you haven’t been through the struggle. The struggle is glamorized as a way of showing your ‘black card.’ ‘I struggle with debt. I struggle with money.’ It’s like the struggle itself vets you,” says the Money Coach, author and financial expert Lynnette Khalfani-Cox.

“These beliefs become self-fulfilling prophecies. It’s hard when you see yourself as someone destined to live in financial bondage to feel free and liberated as a human being. You make different choices.”

Continue reading on the next page…

Change Your Mind

Throughout my career, I have interviewed many blacks who have created healthy financial lives and many who have not. A major difference in the two groups is how they view money and how they view themselves.

The reasons are complex, but successful people transcended the stereotypical image that money will be a struggle. They don’t see their financial potential as limited by race. Some simply got different conditioning. They did not grow up with the

same negative images of blacks and money as those who struggle. They saw their parents create healthy financial lives. They didn’t grow-up in neighborhoods where the only financial institution was a pay day lender. Whatever the reasons, we have to come up with ways to move beyond the ‘struggle’ mind-set that is playing out in too many of our financial choices.

It all begins with awareness.  You must be aware of the messages you’re telling yourself about money and race.  Not so that you can go into a deep analysis of the psychological and emotional impact, but so that you can know when these messages are running the show — manipulating your choices.

“You have to ask what falsehoods and ideas am I believing that are actually sabotaging my efforts, or keeping me from fulfilling my potential” says the Money Coach, Lynette Khalfani-Cox.

Ask yourself the following questions:

1. What do I see people like me doing when it comes to money?

What do I see them doing when it comes to saving?  Spending?  Investing? Debt?

2. What do I see people like me not doing when it comes to money? What don’t they do when it comes to saving?  Spending?  Investing?  Debt?

3. How messages am I telling myself about money? “People like me can’t afford to save.”  “People like me always have debt.”  “I can’t even think about retiring.”

4. How would those messages change if I were living my ideal relationship with money…if I were channeling my financial resources towards my goals?

5. How would I act differently and how would my choices change if I operate from my new messages?

An Environment for Success

Create a support system to snap you out of this seductive, struggle mentality when you realize you are centered there.

1. Discuss this with a friend: Share with them what you’ve discovered to be the beliefs you need to free yourself from.  Ask them if they can raise a red flag when they see you’re not where you’re supposed to be.  Also, ask them if they mind being a sounding board when you’re questioning yourself.

2. Stay connected to your goals: Whether it’s keeping a picture of your dream

house in your wallet or a photo of your child’s dream college on your wall.  You want to always keep your eye on the prize and let messages and attitudes that don’t serve you fade into the background.  Stay focused.   They will fade.

3. Get to know the stories of financially successful Blacks. I’ll never forget the words Dr. Dennis Kimbro, a motivational speaker and Author of Think and Grow Rich:  A Black Choice once told me about this.  “One of the biggest financial mistakes the black community has made is that we did not record the stories of Blacks who were financial success stories,” he said.  “When you turn on the TV, you’re not seeing discussions with Oprah about her beliefs about money, you’re seeing Warren Buffet,” he adds.

While many of our socio-economic disadvantages weren’t of our own making, the abilities to change our minds and our perspectives are gifts we were all born with. We must tap into these abilities if we are to create the psychological, emotional, and financial environment needed in order to thrive.