A Woman’s Guide to Managing Money

The traditional Leave It To Beaver-style existence of the 1950s had the husband in charge of work and the family investments, while the wife headed up the house and the kids. Old habits are hard to shake, and even in 2009, some women still aren’t comfortable with taking the reins when it comes to financial issues.

“Many women just let their husbands pay the bills and then take everything for granted,” says Harrine Freeman, a credit counselor in Bethesda, Maryland, and author of How To Get Out of Debt: Get an “A” Credit Rating for Free Using the System I’ve Used Successfully With Thousands of Clients (Adept Publishers; $19.95). “But women have to educate themselves about finances. You never want to find yourself in a terrible financial situation.”

Personal finances can be a perplexing subject, never more so than right now. Even Wall Street pros are struggling to figure out what’s going on with the financial system. But at the root of our economic troubles is one simple fact: Many Americans are living beyond their means and just can’t pay their bills anymore.

That’s where you come in. While you can’t control Wall Street, you can control your family’s finances. You’re in charge of what comes in, you determine what goes out, and you say what you invest in and why. In a world gone crazy, your personal decisions matter. “I want women to do what our grandparents and great grandparents used to do,” says Marilyn Logan, who describes herself as “The Money Lady” and wrote the book I Can’t Afford To Marry You: A Guide to Understanding the True Cost of Love (Salo Publishing; $20). “In those days they truly respected money, and they had the skills to handle it. Now we’ve lost that ability, and we have to relearn it again.”

However, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. A single woman just starting out in life has very different money priorities than a married woman with children, who herself has different issues than someone who’s divorced or widowed.

In this special three-part series on women and money, black enterprise will tell you what you need to know when it comes to managing your money (Part I), investing (Part II), and preserving your hard-earned wealth (Part III).

To give you a few snapshots of key financial concerns in action——and how you can meet money challenges successfully——we spoke to women at different life stages.  It’s not always easy to keep your financial house in order. But in a frightening era when the global economy is crumbling all around us, it’s more important than ever.

SINGLE WITHOUT CHILDREN: Carla Butler

When you’re young and on top of the world, long-term finances might be the very last thing on your mind. You might rack up huge credit card debt. Or you might decide not to contribute to your retirement fund until you’re 30–a move that could torpedo your future nest egg.

Just ask Carla Butler, who admits she did many things wrong early in her financial life. The 29-year-old social worker from Tampa, Florida, says she dug herself into a big hole. “With my first taste of independence, the prospect of having a credit card for every store was just too attractive.” Consequently, Butler racked up $10,000 on multiple cards during her college years.

With that hefty sum hanging over her head, Butler realized she was going down the wrong path, and finally hit the wall in early 2007 when she started thinking about buying a home. A mortgage lender pulled her credit reports, and told her she needed some serious financial first aid, or else face high borrowing rates for the rest of her life.

With the help of a financial planner, Butler started overhauling her financial life. She began using only cash to fund her living expenses and perks such as vacations. Butler also disputed some items on her credit report, and started paying all her bills on time. She has boosted her FICO score from 599 to 679 in less than a year.

“Now I’ve paid off all of my delinquent debt,” she says proudly. She has also opened a 403(b) retirement plan at her job, devoting 5% of her pay and reaching $2,000 so far. Her car is paid off, and she recently closed on a Tampa, Florida, townhome for $125,000.

So how do you instill good habits early on, before that hole is dug? Experts suggest paying cash. “Credit cards and debit cards will always get you in trouble,” says Michelle Oliver, financial planner and head of the Oliver Financial Group in Richmond, Virginia. “But when you use cash and have to take the money out of your wallet, you’ll spend much more wisely. And learn to think on a yearly basis, not a daily basis: If you’re buying coffee five times a week at $5, that’s $100 a month, that’s $1,200 a year. The small things add up.”

Start contributing to your company 401(k) or a Roth IRA while you’re young, even in small amounts——say 2% to 3%——which you can then boost by a percentage point every year. “Even if you start early and stop altogether, you’ll still have more retirement money than if you only start in midlife,” says Oliver.

Most of all, set the table for your adult life by learning financial skills early on. When college is over, and you do start to earn more money, you’ll be prepared for how and when to spend and invest. “Develop good money-management skills right away, because the decisions you make today will affect your life tomorrow,” says Freeman. “That way, you won’t dig yourself into a hole you can’t get out of.”

Creating a Budget
Wondering how to make the numbers work every month? Here’s a sample budget breakdown by Harrine Freeman.
35%    Housing (mortgage, rent)

15%    Transportation (car payments, insurance, gas)

10%    Savings (retirement, emergency funds)

15%    Debt (credit cards, student loans)

25%    Remaining expenses (groceries, clothing, entertainment)

Action Plan

— Get financially literate. Knowing the basics of proper budgeting and investing, right off the bat, will prepare you for a lifetime of smart money moves.

— Avoid common pitfalls. Massive credit-card and college bills could cripple your financial dreams before you even get started. Don’t saddle yourself with debt that’s too heavy to bear.

— Start saving for retirement early. Time is on your side, and starting a 401(k) or IRA now could be the difference between a meager retirement, and a luxurious one.

Helpful Resources

— How To Get Out of Debt: Get an “A” Credit Rating for Free Using the System I’ve Used Successfully With Thousands of Clients (Adept Publishers; $19.95): Tips on eliminating debt and repairing credit scores, by credit counselor Harrine Freeman.

— www.mymoney.gov: The U.S. government’s Website for financial education, teaching the basics about saving, budgeting, and investing.

— The True Cost of Happiness: The Real Story Behind Managing Your Money (Wiley; $24.95): A book by Stacey Tisdale and Paula Boyer Kennedy that profiles people who have successfully managed their money.

SINGLE WITH CHILDREN: Anita Dixon

If you’re thinking about messing with Anita Dixon, our advice is: don’t. As commander of the United States Army Garrison Fort Jackson in Columbia, South Carolina, Dixon is a cross between mayor, city manager, and all-powerful ruler. She’s in charge of a $110 million budget and supports the 55,000 soldiers who come through every year for basic training.

On top of all those duties, she’s also a single mom to daughter Brittni, 19. Conscious of those heavy responsibilities, 45-year-old Dixon has done everything right when it comes to her personal finances. She’s used a VA loan to help her buy her primary residence——gathering a total of four over the years, ranging in price from $49,500 to $181,500 (and snapping up three timeshares, as well). She recently sold one for $110,000, more than doubling her original investment, to help her daughter pay for tuition at Stanford University. In addition, Dixon has been religious about putting money away in an IRA and a Thrift Savings Plan.

The military isn’t exactly the road to riches, but it has helped Dixon control costs. For daily necessities, she shops at the military grocery and department stores, with their rock-bottom prices (and where all shopping is tax-free). She enjoys free medical and dental care, uses the base’s gyms, and buys her gas on the base.  And all through her daughter’s upbringing she networked with other single parents in the Army, looking after each others’ kids and keeping childcare costs low. As a result she’s been able to build up an emergency savings account of $9,000.

That kind of financial discipline is what the rest of America could use, says Harrine Freeman. “We all have instant gratification syndrome: We want everything, and we want it right now. But you have to plan out your spending, and if you don’t have the money, then you can’t buy the item. Don’t eat out, bring coffee from home, use public transportation, and buy only on sale or in bulk. It all adds up.”

Another issue that becomes critical when children enter the picture: life insurance. “It’s a must,” says Michelle Oliver, who herself has both term and universal-life policies. “And it’s best to get it while you’re healthy and young, because the older you get and the more health issues that arise, the more your monthly premiums will go up.” Dixon, for instance, maxes out the Army’s options for life insurance with a $400,000 policy.

No matter what the circumstances that led to your raising a child alone, focus on today’s solutions instead of getting mired in the past. “Even though it may seem wrong and unfair that you’re on your own, try not to fixate on how your ex caused all your problems,” says Ginita Wall, co-founder of the financial-resource Website www.wife.org

and co-author of It’s More Than Money — It’s Your Life!: The New Money Club for Women (Wiley; $24.95). Dixon has done just that. “Often I didn’t get child support over the years and when I did it was limited,” she says. “But as a single mom, you learn to survive.”

Action Plan

— Get life insurance. Term-life policies are inexpensive, and will let you sleep at night, knowing your child will be taken care of in the event of your passing. Consider a term policy worth five to 10 times your annual salary, and compare quotes online.

— Build an emergency savings account. Anything could happen at any time, including medical emergencies or job loss. Have a cash stash of three to six months salary to help you through.

— Control expenses. Disciplined spending will help you divert your resources to critical issues such as retirement and college savings.

Helpful Resources

— www.singlemom.com: A general help Website for single parents, with a special section on finances.

— Smart Women Finish Rich: 9 Steps to Achieving Financial Security and Funding Your Dreams (Broadway; $14.95): David Bach’s common-sense guide for getting on the right financial path.

— www.wiseupwomen.org: A Website developed by the U.S. Department of Labor’s Women’s Bureau for women who want to learn more about managing finances.

MARRIED WITH CHILDREN: Allyson Allen

When it comes to keeping up with the Joneses, Allyson Allen couldn’t care less. The married mother of two boys from Los Angeles is much more interested in living within her family’s means and making sure they’re prepared for a rainy day. “I must have learned it from my dad,” says Allen, 44. “I’m very frugal and thrifty when it comes to buying things, and my dad was the exact same way with money. I want to keep my money; I don’t want to just give it away.”

With the help of their financial adviser, Allen and her husband Harold, 49, have set up a plan so that they and children Avery, 11, and Harrison, 5, can remain on sound financial footing. That means having funds automatically taken from their account each month, and diverted into 529 college savings plans for each child, so far totaling more than $15,000 for the two of them. It also means having term-life insurance policies of $500,000 each, and a living trust to hold assets such as the family home. It means wiping away her husband Harold’s previous credit card debt, so that they can now put extra money toward building up an emergency savings fund, which so far houses two month’s worth of mortgage and other monthly expenses. Finally, it means putting away retirement money for themselves——3% at her workplace 401(k) and contributing to her IRA as well, for a total as a couple of more than $400,000.

“Having kids changes everything,” says Allen, who works as a physician’s assistant with Kaiser Permanente, an Inglewood, California, healthcare organization. “The focus is now on them, not so much on me. And now that we’re on the right path, we’re trying to teach them about financial responsibility, as well.”

There’s a reason why money issues are usually at the root of marital troubles. It’s a tricky balancing act: Each spouse comes into a marriage with their own approach to money, and when financial demands start increasing–retirement, college savings, mortgage, and so on–it’s hard to be on the same page about everything.

The decision whether to merge your finances is a personal one, dependent on the comfort level of the individual couple. But many advisers suggest having a joint account for financial responsibilities that are shared by both spouses, such as household bills and mortgage payments. “Everyone should also have their own separate checking account, especially women,” says Michelle Oliver. “That way, you can go out and buy something you need without feeling like you’re taking away from the family. And there are cases where spouses have wiped out savings accounts, so if that happens, you’ll still have something left.”

Some married women are content to let their husband do all the retirement saving. This is the wrong strategy. In an economy where the Dow has dropped almost 40% in a few months, you’ll likely need both of you saving at full strength to cover all your retirement needs.

It’s really only after you start saving for your own golden years, that you should turn to saving

for the kids’ college. “You can’t get a loan for retirement, because that doesn’t exist,” says Logan. “So first make sure you’re banking some money for yourself, then worry about college for the children, because they can always get loans, or scholarships, or a job, if need be.”

Once you’re able to save for your children’s’ college days, crank up a 529 plan as soon as you can. That way, your savings will compound tax-free, doubling every seven years or so, given long-term historical averages of the stock market. And many state 529 plans give you significant tax breaks on your annual returns, which will be a nice bonus when filing on April 15; for instance, New York lets contributors deduct up to $10,000 a year from their state taxes. “Tuition is increasing at twice the rate of inflation, so by the time they get to college, you don’t even know what that bill is going to be,” says Freeman. “Start saving as soon as they’re born.”

Action Plan

— Get on the same page. One spouse shouldn’t have sole control of money matters; come to decisions together, and be on top of all family assets and debts.

— Maintain some independence at the same time. Even if you merge finances to pay the family bills, have your own account (and credit history) as well, in case the unforeseen happens.

— Power up the 529. Once you’re contributing sufficiently to your own retirement accounts, put some money away for your child’s college-savings plan to help them deal with crippling tuitions.

Helpful Resources

— I Can’t Afford To Marry You: A Guide to Understanding the True Cost of Love (Salo Publishing; $20): “The Money Lady” Marilyn Logan’s book on money and relationships.

— www.savingforcollege.com: The basics of calculating college costs, understanding 529 plans, and choosing the right option for your needs.

— www.wife.org: The site of the Women’s Institute for Financial Education, the oldest nonprofit devoted to women’s financial independence.

DIVORCED: Karen Turner
“I’m an excellent housekeeper,” Zsa Zsa Gabor once joked. “Every time I divorce, I keep the house.” While the actress and socialite may have benefited from divorces, for most people, the process is an emotional and financial blow to the gut. Take Karen Turner, 43, a partner at a medical malpractice law firm in Washington, D.C. While Turner has a turbo-charged career and earns a six figure salary, the fact that she’s ultimately on her own to survive is a reality she faces every day.

“When you’re the only income for the household, you have to have some kind of net to catch you if something happens,” says Turner, who has a 12-year-old daughter, Kendall, from her marriage that dissolved in 2000. “You have to know how much is coming in and how much is going out and save something for a rainy day. Because something’s always going to come up,” says Turner.

Turner has adopted an unwavering focus when it comes to managing her finances. She has paid down a $45,000 college debt to about $10,000, which should be eliminated shortly. She shares custody of her daughter with her ex-husband, which means expenses are defrayed between the two of them. And she’s cut back on vacations and tried to live a simple lifestyle, so that Kendall can attend private school and enjoy a growing 529 plan of $14,000 so far.

Experts say it’s important to be on top of your finances throughout the marriage. What you don’t know about your assets and liabilities as a couple will hurt you. “When divorce occurs, men might lose 20% of their income, but women often lose 50% to 75%,” says Logan. “That’s because women are often not in there managing money side-by-side. So they get the short end of the stick.”

If possible, freeze or close joint accounts before the divorce so that you’re not financially liable for expenses that are not yours and to keep your credit in tact, advises Freeman. Sit down and map out not only a division of assets, but outstanding debts; get it in writing, have it notarized, and included in the divorce decree. Have your own credit history already up and running, with your own credit cards and your own accounts, because without a good FICO score you’re not going to be able to do much of anything on your own.

Most importantly, start thinking like a single person. That means downsizing your lifestyle to adjust to new realities. “You might think that you’re entitled to your old standard of living, but in truth neither of you can afford that anymore,” says Wall. “At best, you’ll have half of your old assets. It’s not fair, but then, divorce is never fair.”

Action Plan

— Have a team on your side. A solid mediator or divorce lawyer, along with a financial planner, will set the stage for your life after marriage.

— Think as a single person. It’s hard to shake old habits, but cut back spending and crank up your own retirement savings, because your assets as a couple have been chopped in half..

— Have a cash bridge to a new life. To deal with the steep drop in income, have liquid assets in place so that you don’t have to raid your 401(k) or rely on high-interest credit cards to make it through.

Helpful Resources

— www.morningstar.com: When you’re in your prime earning years and are in sole charge of your own assets, this site provides the money know-how you’ll need.

— What Women Need to Know About Divorce: Workshops around the country, created by Candace Bahr, to prepare women financially and emotionally for life after marriage (learn more at www.wife.org/secondsaturday.htm).

— www.divorcenet.com: An excellent jumping-off point for financial advice, legal avenues, and state-specific divorce resources.

WIDOWED: Paige Smith

If there’s any life stage where money and emotions get dangerously intertwined, it’s widowhood. Right after losing your spouse, when you’re coping with enormous emotional struggles, you’re expected to step up and handle daunting financial challenges. It’s a brutal one-two punch.

Atlanta’s Paige Smith can relate. When her husband Randy passed at age 38 after an auto accident in 2004, she found it hard to cope. “I went through shock, disbelief, anger, sadness, everything,” says the 40-year-old mother of two boys. “Only now, over two years later, am I getting to the point where I can breathe again.”

Smith was immediately thrown into the world of handling finances——especially challenging since Randy, a customer service manager, paid all the bills. “I didn’t know what needed to be paid, or when it needed to be paid. He had personal accounts too, and I had to know what was going on with those. To this day I’m still figuring out finances.”

Her journey was made a bit easier by both Randy’s life insurance policy, and a worker’s compensation settlement, since he was traveling on business at the time of his auto accident. Together, those have enabled Paige to stay at home to raise her two boys, instead of having to toil at a 9-to-5 job at the same time.

It’s not easy to manage lump sums like that when you’re in a shaky psychological state. The central rule of thumb is to not do anything in haste, or blindly hand everything over to a financial planner you don’t already know and trust. Beware, also, of a strange but common reaction to insurance money. “Since you got it by way of your husband’s death, there might be negative connotations to it,” says Wall. “So you might subconsciously try to get rid of it, by investing poorly or shopping in excess.” Instead, use it wisely by covering any funeral costs, eliminating outstanding debts you held as a couple, and putting the rest aside for a while until you’re emotionally ready to handle it.

Have wills in place, updated once a year if necessary, and with multiple copies made. “That way, if anything happens you’ll have everything you need right away, which will eliminate a lot of the stress and burden of a very difficult time,” says Freeman.

You should also have all that paperwork in order as soon as you get married. Consider setting up a living trust if you don’t own your house in what’s called ‘joint tenancy,’ or if you have significant assets outside of retirement accounts (which will likely automatically go to you as beneficiary). The alternative of going through the usual probate process could sap away a big chunk of your assets.

Smith’s husband didn’t have a will in place, which initially complicated life since she had to go through the probate process. Now she’s creating a program, called PS Outreach, for women like herself. “I want to help other widows get to the ‘new normal,’” says Smith. “You just have to take it one day at a time.”

Action Plan

— Have your paperwork in order. Lack of a proper (and updated) will from your partner could leave you struggling in a difficult emotional time.

— Use life insurance wisely. If a spouse’s passing leaves you with tax-free insurance money, use it to cover funeral costs and any outstanding debts, and——after a long period of reflection——save or invest the remainder depending on your age and risk tolerance.

— Think about living trusts. If your assets as a couple are in trust, it could spare you the headache of going through the sometimes lengthy and costly probate process..

Helpful Resources

— Widows Wear Stilettos (New Horizon Press; $14.95): Carole Brody Fleet’s book (and Website of the same name) offers help and support for young widows.

— www.wiserwomen.org: The site of Women’s Institute for a Secure Retirement helps women take financial control over their lives, with a particular focus on navigating the challenging golden years.

— www.wife.org: The site of the Women’s Institute for Financial Education, the oldest nonprofit devoted to women’s financial independence.

This story originally appeared in the February 2009 issue of Black Enterprise magazine.