In today’s marketplace, diversity is about inclusion. Inclusion, however, requires understanding. One of the primary sources of misunderstandings in the workplace derives from gender differences in communication. There’s nothing wrong with these differences–particularly when they add bottom-line value.  Understanding the common tendencies for women (and men) will help you to assess your personal communication style, while appreciating the style of the opposite sex. Here are the top gender differences, along with some non-gender-specific strategies on becoming a stronger, more efficient communicator.
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Gender Difference #1: Results vs. Relationships
Women tend to be more relationship-oriented. Conversely, men tend to be more results-oriented, meaning they will likely focus more on the task instead of the people involved. As such, men talk to give information, whereas women talk to gain information. There is an inherent advantage in the women’s style of communication here. Because women tend to collect information, they have more information in their arsenal. However, asking too many questions can make you seem unsure and reduce the level of confidence that people have in your leadership abilities.
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Strategy #1: Streamline your communication:
Focus on information relevant to the task at hand. Be careful not to waste time with idle chatter that can make you look unfocused, unprepared or unconfident. Time is money, and it’s something that you cannot get back. If you waste time, people are less likely to value and respect your opinion and viewpoint. Be pleasant, but be focused!
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Gender Difference #2: Particulars vs. People
Because women tend to build relationships and rapport when communicating, they also tend to focus more on people and feelings. On the other hand, men tend to focus on the particulars and facts. As a result, men process information based on logic and reason. In other words, men see things in black or white, while women see more gray areas.
One of the quintessential skills I learned as a lawyer is to process information by fact and reason, not opinion. Your opinion means nothing if it is not supported by law or precedent. This is the best approach with regard to business communication as well. The listener needs to understand why you feel the way that you do.
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Strategy #2: Focus on the WHY, not the WHAT:
What you think is not as important as why you believe that
to be true. The more you can support your opinions with research, fact and precedent, the more credible and competent you will appear. Focus on reason and rationale. By doing so, you remove from the equation the need for personal validation of opinions, which can lead to less productive conversations. If you can appeal to a person’s logic, and even monetize your opinion (focusing on the bottom-line fiscal impact), then you stand a better chance helping them to see and appreciate your viewpoint.Continue reading on next page…
Gender Difference #3: Competition vs. Cooperation
Traditionally, women tend to be more cooperative in our approach to communication, whereas men are more competitive. Men tend to base success on outcomes, not outreach, and tend to use competition to demonstrate their presence, competence, and value. Women, in contrast, focus on inclusion, try to find solutions by seeking consensus and avoid conflict. Conflict (which is a natural part of competition)Â is often necessary. Because women tend to see disagreement as something that destroys relationships, they unconsciously tend to look for agreement at the outset, which consequently may not be the best solution.
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Strategy #3: Welcome disagreement:
Diversity of thought is important. If everyone is thinking alike, then someone is not thinking. The best ideas are put through the fire, evaluated, and dissected. My philosophy is that the best ideas, suggestions, and strategies should earn
the right to rule. That means disagreement is inevitable. Getting the best result is never easy. Innovative employers, hire independent minds, not bodies. In welcoming disagreement, make sure you have a solution oriented opinion, but do not be too quick to shy away from going against the grain. In the long run, people will respect you.What challenges have you faced in the workplace in communicating with the opposite sex? Do you think one gender has an advantage over the other?
For more information on gender differences in communication, pick up a copy of Marshawn’s best-selling book S.K.I.R.T.S in the Boardroom: A Woman’s Survival Guide to Success in Business and Life.